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One Year Postpartum


Wednesday, January 13, 2016

I haven't talk much about my postpartum experience, though I touched on it here, here and there a little bit.

But now that I am a year out, I thought I would divulge a little about where I am at now.

During pregnancy I gained 40 pounds. When I look at that number, I cringe (even though it is healthy for twins). I just didn't imagine that I would be pregnant with twins or even gain that much. But I did. And a lot of it was water weight and sugar weight (I ate all things sugar).

Losing the baby weight wasn't too bad. I held onto that water weight for a few weeks due to my c-section, but it came off pretty quickly. After four months, I was 10 pounds lighter than my pre-pregnancy weight. I have since gained some of those pounds back and I am hovering around my pre-pregnancy weight.

But...

I still have loose skin on my stomach. No matter how many planks or exercises I do, I can't get the extra skin to go away. It doesn't look that bad. Only when I bed over can I see the ripples and not so tightness.

My boobs are awful. I am literally counting down the days until I can get a lift/boob job/augmentation. This has been one of the worst things for me post-partum. I used to be a 34D while on BC. Then I got off of it and I went down to a 34C (a large C). I was happy with it. Then I breastfed, pumped and had a breast abscess. Now my boobs are deflated balloons seriously in need of a lift and some life. I am barely a 34B now. Maybe a bigger A. Such a confidence killer. And I refuse to buy a new bra, so I rock my 34C bras and have gaps in them. I feel like a teenager who stuffs her bra, but I don't even stuff it.

Even though I am around my pre-pregnancy weight, I lack the muscles I used to have (and I am working on those at the gym), my thighs are thicker (but stronger. Must be the running/elliptical/stairs I am doing) and my waist is smaller (I am a zero now). I feel out of proportion.

My hair. I didn't have the thick hair while I was pregnant, but it stuck around and got thicker postpartum. Maybe the hormones, the pumping, prenatal vitamins, etc. I was really happy with it, but then I stopped pumping and it started falling out. I didn't notice it that much except when I had to sweep my bathroom floor a couple times a week. Or when I had to clean out my hair brush often. But that still didn't seem that bad. Until I started growing back the hair that I lost. And it is around my bangs and the framing of my face. I have so many "baby" hairs that it is hard to tame. And it makes me want to change my hair up everyday, but I hold back. DO NOT CUT YOUR HAIR (major cut, please trim it) until at least a year after you had your baby (per my hair stylist). I still don't think I will cut it. I am loving how long it is.

My scars are healing, but they are still very much visible and dark. I rub on scar creams on my scars at least once a day and I kneed them out (per my esthetician). My breast abscess one looks the best by far and it was done in March. My c-section is next best and my umbilical hernia is the worst. I can't wait to have them fade more and have an abdomen that looks semi normal.

My umbilical hernia has been a pain in the "tummy". Scar tissue causes discomfort, the scar is ugly and my belly button is half fixed I feel. But I said I would give it a year before going back and having a revision or laser it.

My hormones are back to normal. I went on the mini pill around 6 weeks postpartum and then back to my regular bc around 10 1/2 months postpartum. I vowed to never go on bc again after it wrecks havoc on my PCOS, but I don't want to get pregnant (for awhile or maybe never), it evens my hormones out, it makes me feel more like myself and I am too afraid to try other forms of birth control. So I will go with this now until we decide to have more children (and I know how to handle coming off of that now) or figure out something better. I am open to suggestions, so throw them at me.

And I think that is about it for my Year Postpartum. If you have any questions on any of the procedures I went through or any postpartum questions, feel free to ask. I am an open book.

12 comments:

  1. I am so with you. My boobs are awful. A ton of my hair fell out and now I have this horrible 2 inch wispy nonsense that frames my face. Yuck. I'm about 15#s less than my pre-pregnancy weight but I am SOFT. I don't work out at all so that could be the reason. I have a gym at my office so there is zero excuse. Except that I go see my Beans at lunch everyday and I CAN'T stop! Fynn is starting to cry when I leave and I always said that would be when I bailed. So....

    Oh and that "mom apron" thing that is on my stomach? My dear friend (who is a nurse) said that a tummy tuck is my best option. It's actually a mini tuck and they essentially just cut off the loose skin. I want to give myself a year of consistent workouts before I resort to that. But I'm definitely getting my boobs done if I do!!

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    1. I think the boobs are the worst for me only because I am embarrassed to wear certain things. Even a simple sports bra when working out, I want the more structured VS ones to help me look better. I know it is all in my head, but it is hard to get over.

      Sutton cries when we leave go visit the girls too. Only for a bit, but breaks my heart. So I know how you feel on that one.

      I also heard that the tummy tuck fixes the mom apron. A fellow twin mom had it done and a boob job and she looks amazing! I have been working out and I still will in hopes it gets better.

      Everyone says "oh you look great", but they don't see under the clothes and the changes like we do.

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  2. Oh girl, my boobs are practically non-existent after nursing two babies! I feel you 100%!

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  3. Oh girl I hear you on the deflated boobs. AFter Cameron I was so upset. When Drew noticed it I was even more upset. He's always said how much he likes my boobs, so I feel so unsexy, but he kept reminding me that he still found me sexy. He's been telling Emmy for the pasty few weeks that he's ready to have my boobs back. Ha ha! Gotta get this girl weaned, but then it means no nice boobs anymore. The horror!

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    1. It is an ongoing joke in our house because they got so big feeding the girls and now they are nothing. A sad joke though. I loved getting my boobs back, but hated the deflation. I feel you on that one.

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  4. Thanks for writing this! I am just getting my head above water to record all the holiday and birthday happenings. I feel your pain on the stomach skin.....I'm not sure if it will ever be the same?!?! I am having a hard time with it. I always said I would never have surgery, but I can totally empathize now with people who do....and would consider it....giving it another year though! Four in a row is rough on the body. Surprisingly, the boobs are almost normal....I am not sure how??

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    1. You are very welcome! I am having a hard time with the skin too. I eat pretty well, work out and I can't get it to go away. I am not sure my belly can handle a tummy tuck, but I definitely want the boobs. And that is awesome that yours are almost back to normal. Very jealous!

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  5. Thanks for writing this! I am just getting my head above water to record all the holiday and birthday happenings. I feel your pain on the stomach skin.....I'm not sure if it will ever be the same?!?! I am having a hard time with it. I always said I would never have surgery, but I can totally empathize now with people who do....and would consider it....giving it another year though! Four in a row is rough on the body. Surprisingly, the boobs are almost normal....I am not sure how??

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  6. Thanks for sharing this because even a year later our bodies are so different after a pregnancy...let alone with you carrying twins! It's just refreshing to hear from others that we are not the only ones going through changes and adjustments afterward!

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    1. Thanks for your sweet comments. I am glad I didn't come off as a complainer (because I was worried I did when writing it) because I am beyond grateful for my girls. And I knew it would change my body, just crazy how much it did. And I read somewhere that it takes 7 years for your body to go back to a pre-pregnancy state. And not completely.

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  7. Even 2 years postpartum I am definitely not where I want to be yet but I keep reminding myself that it took 3 years after baby 1 to feel good again. I hate that society has made us feel like we're somehow supposed to magically undo everything pregnancy did to our bodies. I think I need to write a post about it!

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    1. You should write a post about it. And I have to remind myself of the same things. So crazy how our bodies change, but it is so magical to carry babies. We are so fortunate for that.

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