Avery went next and Sutton seemed in pretty good spirits. She was looking at herself in the mirror and entertaining herself. Then she started to meltdown. No worries, we don't have much time left. I finished Avery's neubulizer and had to clean them. Sutton continued her meltdown until I could take them to their room to play while I prepped bottles and got everything ready.
I could hear squeals, the sounds of their toys and general laughter. Thank goodness. But then the meltdowns started again. You see Monday's are tough in our household because the girls are used to having us all weekend and then they go back to daycare. So their routine is thrown off again and Monday evenings can be tough, but do able. We know it is going to happen, so we are prepped for it.
I changed the girls, got them ready for bed and fed them. While they were drinking their milk, I lotioned them up and sang them songs. (Maybe that is what did them in, ha). Right after they were done, they got fussy again so I put Avery down first (since she finished her bottle first) and then Sutton.
All was well for a couple of minutes. Then Avery went into her "sit up mode". She is beyond exhausted, but won't lay down. She flips on her tummy, pulls herself up and sits and cries if I leave the room. I put her back down, rub her back for a few minutes and leave. Bam, she is screaming again.
So I come back in knowing I will be rubbing her back for maybe 10 minutes like the night before (the previous one to that was only 2 - 3 minutes). 20 minutes in and she is still flipping on her tummy, still won't settle down and I am feeling helpless. I try to rock her to sleep. No good. I decide to let her cry it out (like some have suggested since it is probably just a phase).
I let her CIO for 10 minutes before going in, picking her up, taking her in the dining room (where I can see her while I cook) and I yelled at her. Total mommy fail. I feel like the worse mom EVER. I yelled "just go to f'ing (didn't say the actual word) sleep Avery". The look on her poor face did me in. I cried and felt like scum, but I was at my wits end. I am doing this all alone this week and it is hard to manage it all and keep it together. Worst mom award here.
I put her down and she just wailed, put her head down on the ground and rubbed her eyes. I know she was tired, but wouldn't sleep. I just didn't want her to wake her sister in the process of her meltdown. Feeling defeated, I turned off the stove, cradled her in my arms and took her into her room where we sat for a good 20 minutes just holding her tight. She just stared up at me while I felt sad (for yelling at her) and so loved in that moment (because she only wanted me).
She was still awake when I put her in her crib, but she fell fast asleep. I don't know what I did or if God gave me a little break at that moment, but I am so thankful.
I was able to make dinner and finish by 9 (not ideal) and cuddle down with a glass of wine and The Bachelor.
I wrote on my local multiples mom group (Facebook) for advice for the future since I have the girls to myself til Friday and I want to nip this in the butt ASAP. Can't be having a stressed out baby and mommy. Plus I have the worst headache behind my right eye this morning. Lack of sleep, screaming and stress will do that to you.
But the ladies recommended letting her CIO until she falls asleep. She eventually will and it will get better each evening. She is going through a phase and she will self sooth eventually.
Do any mommies out there have any advice for me? Any recommendations? They wear sleep sacks, have a night light, have a noise machine, have a heater and a humidifier. This has only been going on for about 4 nights now, but I want to fix this now before I lose my sanity from lack of sleep and stress.
But then this morning they were so cute, cuddly and happy that it washed last night away.